I’ve officially made the jump to DustiArab.com. This blog was a great learning grounds, and it’s time to move on to a bigger vision.

Here’s to the next big thing,

Dusti

That’s why I don’t mind pointing out things that I don’t jive with. Like when one way of black and white thinking is exchanged for another.

This deserves some back story.

Confession time.

I used to be a hardcore, fundamentalist Baptist bible thumper. Uh huh. I was so good at it. I was a shining example in youth group, active in every event, volunteering, bringing friends, cleaning the church, running VBS because none of the adults would, and on top of it all, I thoroughly ostracized anyone who didn’t think the same way I did.

Yeah, I was a really impressive human being at the time, convinced I knew everything, and that my way of living was right. They was no grey in that world.

And the nice thing about it was how easy it was. I didn’t question. I followed. I did what everyone told me I supposed to.

Until I finally got out of the conservative echo chamber and had my eyes opened to how close-minded the church was, I thought the answers were all sitting in a book.

I imagine many from the corporate world had a similar reaction when they realized there was more to life than a 9-5. (Never worked one, so I can’t speak from experience there.)

I’m not saying every alleged non-conformist is jumping ship to another type of conformity. What I’m suggesting is the messages tossed around in this niche have a tendency to look awfully similar to that experience I had back in church.

Can I get an AMEN? (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Why the cool kids matter

The thing is, the lifestyles encouraged in books like The Four Hour Work Week and The $100 Startup are based in business ownership – and a fairly particular style of business ownership at that biased against service based businesses. Especially in The $100 Startup, which a great book for accessibility even though it makes it sound far too easy, starting an online platform is a key piece of a low-to-no overhead business.

In an inundated online market, it makes sense to find a niche and establish yourself. However, to get people into your niche, you have to find the people. Where are they? Likely in existing communities. So the next logical step is to gain a foothold in that community.

Now, making a splash in established communities is difficult, because the time, energy, and attention of those business owners is valuable and limited. Hard to get.

So why would you do it? To access and leverage the networks of established, trusted business owners.

Strategic networking is nothing new, and it’s intensely valuable. I’m not claiming this is the only way to start or grow an online business, but it is doubtlessly an effective one.

A quick side note here: Strategic networking is not a bad or sleazy thing. From a connector’s point of view, it’s natural. You don’t even know you’re doing it most of the time. It’s not meant to sound cynical or manipulative – it’s about starting real relationships and growing them. You may or may not do business together, but those relationships are invaluable because knowing brilliant business owners means you’ll both hold each other accountable.

For those starting a business in this manner, suddenly these relationships with key players matter much more. And that is why it’s easy to fall into an echo chamber, where being similar to someone else and making similar choices makes you more relatable and thus a more appropriate colleague.

I hate to burst the bubble here, but it’s all about the marketing and the packaging. It’s about the aspirational version of yourself you see.

When you buy an Apple product, you’re buying it because that’s the type of person you see yourself as. You value beauty, design, and functionality. When you buy a Versalette, you’re buying it because yo used yourself as someone who cares about saving the planet and looking hot while you do it. When you buy organic… The list goes on.

I get it. The above description is the aspirational version of me that I buy with my purchases.

I don’t aspire to world domination. Anywhere else in the world, that’s not something cool. And I understand it’s the branding, traveling the world, yadda yadda, I’m a marketer, and it’s my job to know this stuff. I’m fine not being part of a small army. It’s not geared for me anyway – which is amazing branding because I know that just by glancing at it.

I don’t need to buy non-conformity to reflect the fact that I’m unconventional.

It’s worth repeating this is not an “us versus them” conversation. This is a “make sure you’re actually thinking for yourself” conversation. Especially if you’re a business owner who finds themselves trying to play by a certain set of rules. (Don’t. Learn the frameworks that’ll make it easier instead.)

The afterglow that happened last year for so many meant there were many posts talking about how great the event was, mine included. But no one was going to say anything negative, because it was just so incredible and relieving to be in a room of people like you. So what didn’t get said was the event, well, wasn’t that great when it came to the content. There wasn’t much meat to it. But like I said, no one was going to say anything because we were still all so under the spell of the remarkable network and the almighty woo.

Based on personal experiences, I’m wary of anything that creates disciples rather than tribes. Blind followers who don’t question? Not my thing. That’s why I opted to unconference this year.

There were several posts surrounding WDS talking about feeling left out, and kudos to those people who had the balls to talk about feeling left out. If you’re not already part of the internet famous, it can be hard to make a splash into existing communities. (Which is why you should create your own, but that’s a post later this week.)

But I’ve noticed something I’d like to share with you.

Lots of the cool kids are unhappy

Lifestyle design my ass.

I dearly love many of the people in this group, but they are doing things that are hurting themselves.

Just like people in the thoroughly bashed status quo, they’ve trapped themselves into an existence that isn’t going to give them long term happiness. Instead of creating a legacy, many are living a present-focused, hedonistic lifestyle.

Don’t get me wrong, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Hedonistic behavior is something more of us should embrace more often. The problem is when “living for the moment” or “tonight” or whatever is exactly the same problem unhappy status quo types have.

You see where I’m going with this?

Listen to some Top 40. All of it is focused on tonight. Forget everything because all that matters is right now. The only difference is being able to do it all week long versus just the weekend.

Instead of focusing on the lasting impact you have the power to make, lost focus gets drowned in alcohol and one-night stands. Things not going well? Move on to something else. A new destination. Change things up. Change partners. Make the sex more interesting. Cheat on your partner. Ooh, the stories.

Commitment is not a core value here, because attachment and intimacy force you to sacrifice some of those hedonist tendencies. The part of the sentence that gets left off there is that you sacrifice some of them for something so much better.

I don’t want this to turn into yet another “us and them” discussion. What I want is for you to make your own decisions. I want you to own your decisions. I want you to take actions that carry you closer to your dreams. Not the actions that will make someone else pat you on the back.

You don’t need to travel the world.

You don’t need to pull up your roots.

You don’t need to quit your job.

You don’t need to be one of the cool kids.

You don’t need to be internet famous to be happy.

You can be a part of a real life community.

You can travel.

You can create a legacy.

You can have a family.

You can live your life on YOUR terms.

…And if the cool kids don’t approve? They really weren’t your scene anyway, were they?

I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet, to be honest. After talking to Bernadette, it may be an “and” versus an or. Who knows? Hopefully, I will in the next couple of weeks.

I’m taking some time off from the blog until July 17th to regroup, enjoy the World Domination Summit descending on my hometown, and take some much needed vacation time.

Enjoy your summer!

P.S. Want to meet up at WDS? I’m not attending, but I’ll be around. Leave a comment, and we’ll make it happen.

What started as a way to entertain myself before I went back to work has transformed into something so much bigger than I could have anticipated.

I’m 15 interviews in, my outline is rock solid, and the ideas and content keep a-coming. It’s been an incredible experience in connecting with other women and rebelling against expectations. So much has been poured into this book already – and I’m just getting started.

This book has generated so much interest, I wanted to pursue it and most importantly, I wanted to do it right. As someone who has previously self-published, I’m a fan of holding that little red publish button, but I did want to work with an editor, make print copies of the book available, and maybe – dare I say it – fund my own book tour.

It was a dream I knew could be reality. So I turned to Kickstarter to help fund the project so I could complete the book on a shorter timeframe and get it out into the world.

After line-by-lining their guidelines before I decided to use them to fund the project, I knew Rebel Mama was a good fit for a Kickstarter. I put everything I had into making this a killer project – complete with amazing prizes. Seriously. I spent weeks developing the copy and pulled an all-nighter to get that damn video finished. (What can I say? Tech is not my specialty.) Emails were ready to go out to everyone being interviewed to help promote it, guest posts were booked, and everything was a very excited, gun-cocked go.

And right as I’m ready to pull the trigger to start picking up on all of this momentum…

Kickstarter denies my project

Yeah.

Not gonna lie, I was livid. My body quivered in anger as I stared at the generic, canned email that had arrived my inbox. Frustration, quickly followed by tears. I threw something at the wall (which made my daughter laugh hysterically because she’d never seen me act so ridiculous).

Then I put on my big girl panties and started figuring out how the hell I was going to make this thing happen. This book is my baby. I’m not about to let it go for anything.

So. I thought I’d share the project with you and ask your thoughts on this creative cock-block. (Hehe.)

Here’s the video and copy for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

—–

Rebel Mama: How to Raise Your Kids Without Losing Yourself

What is Rebel Mama?

Rebel Mama: How to Raise Your Kids Without Losing Yourself is a book about what you didn’t expect when you were expecting. Featuring interviews, stories, and trends in modern motherhood, the book illuminates an alternative to prescriptive parenting advice and opens up the discussion of the identity crisis and isolation that often occur upon entering motherhood.

Here’s the gist.

Why is motherhood so damn hard?

You’d think after thousands of years of reproducing, we’d have learned something about tried and true parenting methods. However, thanks to rapid changes in technology and societal standards, motherhood is not the same as it was 50, 25, or even 10 years ago.

I’ll be exploring the outrageous and contradictory views the status quo holds for mothers – and how each of us can rebel and rise above them. By confronting the myth of Supermom, and distilling several other core fables of the 21st century rooted in outdated cultural stories and Hollywood dramatizations, we’ll toss out the notion of prescriptive parenting and talk about a parenting style that works for you.

Through a series of interviews with women choosing to rebel against society’s expectations for moms, Rebel Mama investigates the key problems women face upon entering motherhood in America. As Gen Yers and Millenials enter the realm of motherhood, a new story needs told. Rebel Mama offers a surprising solution to the identity crisis of entering motherhood today.

So that’s the hook. Here’s the thesis.

Today, the most rebellious thing you can do as a mother is maintain your individual identity.

Why? Because if you can’t stay rooted in your own identity, how can you help someone else discover and cultivate their identity?

There’s a new story being told – a new way to parent – rooted in your unique identity as a woman and your ability to self-actualize. There are three core underlying trends in this new wave of parenting:

• Even while technology is making us more connected than ever, we’ve never felt more isolated as mothers.
• Supermom and the status-quo endorsed method of parenting is being rejected as Gen Y moves into the next phase of their lives.
• With Gen Y moving into parenting, feminism has reached a point of critical mass where it is about to evolve in a major way.

Why am I the right person to write this book?

No one is discussing what entering motherhood is actually like. I’ve identified the triple threat – insecurity, isolation, identity - that comes up for almost every mother.

From all of the fears of being like/unlike our mothers, not being as good as the mom next door who seems to have it altogether, and doing everything “right,” it’s no wonder we’re insecure about entering motherhood.

And even though we’re more connected than ever, we’ve never been so isolated. With the rise of social networks, we can finally reach out to other. But usually we don’t. Instead, we keep up the illusion of Supermom. We propagate the cultural myths we’ve been raised on, like the Myth of Obligation where we can’t do X because we’re Y – i.e. I’d love to pursue my dream of becoming a writer, but I’m a mom. Or the Myth of the Milestone. if I can just get X, I’ll be happy. These myths are exactly that – myths. And I’m out to expose them.

Rebel Mama has been incubating since I wrote my second book, The Minimalist Mom. I realized the topic I really wanted to write about was bigger than that. It wasn’t about minimalism and motherhood; it was about the assumptions and labels people place on us.

The more I wrote, the more I connected the dots between the stories we tell ourselves, the ones society tells us, and the heroes’ stories we aspire to and often should be telling. Especially the story of motherhood.

I knew there was something more to this line of thought. As humans, stories are how we connect with the world around us – in a physical and emotional context. If a story resonates with us in a powerful enough way, we’ll sense the greater truth that exists within it. Before now, the old story and expectation was for moms to sacrifice their dreams and identities because motherhood = martyrdom. But no more.

As Gen Yers and Millenials enter the realm of motherhood, a new story is undeniably ready to emerge. Now, I’m gathering a tribe around the idea that there is an alternative to status-quo endorsed motherhood. We are more. We deserve more.

Who is being interviewed?

Many, many women are being interviewed for this project (and a few men, too) but a few you might recognize include:

• Justine Musk
• Eden Riley
• Molly Mahar
• Emma Alvarez Gibson
• Liz Strauss
• Gemma Stone
• Randi Buckley
• Tara Gentile
• Rachel Rodgers
• Heather Allard
• Corinne Bowen

And many more!

My Goal With Rebel Mama

My goal is to show mothers and would-be mothers everywhere they are not alone, and they don’t have to settle for the status quo.

I want to bring moms together so they can find the support and community they need to be successful, happy, and healthy. By coming together in the strength of our individual truths, we can truly lift each other up and be better parents and better people.

Where’s the money going?

The money from this campaign will go help with the expenses of working with an editor to make the book the best it can be, getting the book and cover designed, a publicist to help garner more support around the book and the topic, and printing the book.

Everything over the goal amount will allow me to take the time off from work to focus on Rebel Mama, so I can get the book in your hands even faster.

The prizes!

Although prizes are mentioned to the right, I want to highlight a few things.

It’s a doozy, right?

It’s a creative endeavor – it takes motherhood and spins it on its head. Much more than a how-to or a some standard self-help parenting guide, it’s a compilation of stories and shared experiences. Taking the stories of these women and reflecting it back on one another, this book is a creative and unconventional approach on how we learn how to mother and what makes a mother.

So what was the issue with the project?

Good question.

Well, since the generic email they send you the first time doesn’t tell you what, if any, guidelines aren’t being met, you’re on your own. I checked again to appeal the project, ready to address the individual guidelines as they pertained to the book and how/why it met them.

When I went to appeal the initial decision, I was given a little white box with a capacity of 500 words and a one sentence prompt that did little more than tell me to, “Prove it.” Without any idea of why a project is declined, there isn’t much you can do. The second canned email they send you doesn’t tell you anything either, except that their decision is final – and not to reply to this email because no one will answer it.

Classy.

I understand Kickstarter receives a large number of projects daily. My expectation wasn’t for a personalized note detailing my errors, but even a separate email that identified which guideline wasn’t being met would have been helpful and appreciated.

Kickstarter has enabled some incredible projects to get off the ground, like The Versalette and I’m Fine, Thanks.

…But they have also given the go-ahead to some really shitty ones, like this one, while denying the highly influential and political Margaret Atwood‘s project. (You can contribute to her project on IndieGoGo here.)

This leaves me with a disturbing conclusion.

Someone had a personal issue with the project.

I am fully aware of how politically charged my subject matter is. After explaining what happened on Kickstarter to a group of my professional peers, someone I respect asked if the project was really so very controversial.

My answer? I desperately wish it wasn’t.

But the fact is women’s reproductive rights are a hot topic. You can’t say vagina - but you can apparently legislate it. Call it a war on women. Call me a slut for advocating healthcare that covers contraception. No matter how you feel about the word “feminism,” you can’t ignore the fact that men and women are clearly unequal.

Feminism is evolving in a big way and right-wing whack jobs are advocating for the 1950′s view of women to make a comeback. This is not about burning bras and getting back at men for keeping us down.

Oh contraire.

Feminism is about girls getting to grow up and actually be whatever they want – instead of thinking they’re destined to go through the motions of college, career, white dress, get rescued by a prince, and spend their life making and raising babies. It’s about stepping fully into our unique version of power and ambition. It’s about equal pay. It’s about mutual support and parenting in a way that empowers both parents to the best of their ability – without the double standard over who’s cleaning, who’s staying home, and who’s the breadwinner.

It’s about women finally having equal rights.

And I dare you to tell me what’s so radical about that.

What’s next for Rebel Mama?

After considering my options, I thought about running an independent fundraising campaign to make the book happen. You’ve seen the Kickstarter – I’ve made a compelling argument at the least.

But this message needs to be heard far and wide. On my own, I only have so much reach, and I’m a go-getter. Ambition emanating down to my toes. That’s not considered a feminine trait – which makes my next move fitting, I think.

If I’m going to jump for a gatekeeper, it’ll be a gatekeeper who can help me propel me to the NYT bestseller list.

In other words…

Dear Fabulous Agent,

Let’s chat.

xo

What you can do

Share this article.

Help me send a message to the world that this issue won’t be silenced by Kickstarter or any other gatekeeper. Together, we can stop the discrimination against females and moms. But we have to start somewhere.

Whether you like it on Facebook, Tweet it, or write a post talking about what it’s like to be a Rebel Mama, you can make a difference. I also made you a few pretty graphics you can put on your website. Steal these badges and wear ‘em proud.

Because together, we are a force. And no gate or its keeper can hold us back for long.

If you want to hear more about the Rebel Mama project as it develops, you can join my email list here. 

It’s easy to let that one troll’s email get you down, isn’t it? Back at Minimalist Adventures, I used to get flamed on an almost daily basis by people who didn’t like that I was punching holes in their reality. At the beginning it really upset me, because I was genuinely trying to help the folks reading my blog. What I was doing was pretty unusual.

But it didn’t take me long to realize the trolls emails didn’t matter. Without fail, they were always cynical, unhappy people. Why else would they waste their valuable time sending an email to a stranger on the internet?

No matter what I write about, I’m quick to point out the light at the end of the tunnel. Because I know through experience that this too shall pass. There’s always a future happiness waiting down the line. I like that. And we need that.

Optimism is actually a coping mechanism humans have based on our ability to predict future consequences. I mean, we have to be optimistic about the future, because constantly thinking about the many ways we could die is distracting at best.

The other benefit here is the win factor. Because you know something good is on the way, every step of the way is a small win.

And small wins matter more to optimists.

In The Epic Launch Class this week, we talked about how a launch isn’t necessarily just to make money. There are other functions and reasons for launching, especially when you’re just getting started. A launch could increase your visibility. It could create more opportunities down the line. Hell, it may even generate a little revenue. The idea is no matter what beenfit you get from launching, it’s still a benefit.

It’s still a win, even if you don’t make the mountains of money you had your fingers crossed for.

Cynics don’t get that. Cynics consider that failure a supreme failure, and what good could possibly come of that? Cynics lose, and they lose big.

Failure is a lesson to help you acheive your next win. No matter how small.

I kid you not – the app I’m writing this on JUST opened up, and as if by magic, my stomach growled and in this strangely seductive voice, “Hey, get up and eat something…It’ll only take a minute…”

It’s hard not to listen when your tummy starts sweet talking you like that. But I’m going to ignore it in favor of blogging for THREE WHOLE DAYS IN A ROW. Holy shit. Last time I did that? A year ago.

Not that anyone but me cares. But I do care.

Because I know that every time I push myself to write just one more sentence, I know it’s making a better writer. A writer who will push past the edges of her current body of work with something moving.

A friend of a friend is a famous novelist, and when asked how he writes an entire novel, he answered, “I write a sentence. Then I write another sentence.”

Simple. Elegant. Bite-size. Sooo my style.

Keeping things small makes the journey so much easier, but we’re under so much (perceived) pressure to have a huge dream or a huge project or the next big idea.

Not all of us do that.

I struggle to “think big.” Rebel Mama stemmed from one very small insight last October. A passing thought. “There is more to me than being a mom. I wonder if other people feel this way, too.” It turned out that in a single insight lay a lifetime of work, but I never would have known that had I left the idea at the door with so many others.

There is a difference here between playing small and thinking small.

Playing small would be to self-sabotage myself while writing my book so it never sees the light of day.

Thinking small is about keeping a project doable and sustainable.

My dreams have never felt so big they were unattainable. They are terrifying because of their deep-seated implications – but not out of reach. This is probably because I’m not afraid of hard work.

Small is inspiring. It’s achievable.

Whether it’s a building tiny house on wheels, so you can move and live anywhere;

Helping writers develop the habits they need for success;

Or even designing a planner just for creative people;

Choosing something small to achieve can result in a very big win.

Choose a small thing today. Now do it.

And that big win could be the first step in a series.

That’s why their businesses ultimately fail. If you want to learn how to do it right, you cannot miss The Epic Launch Class.

Want to know how people like Chris Guillebeau, Marie Forleo, Jonathan Mead, and Laura Roeder launch their products?

Easy. They’ve got Charlie on their side.

Over the past 5 years, Charlie Gilkey has been involved in tons of launches. Whether he was consulted on the launch, an affiliate, or a contributor to the product, there’s nothing he hasn’t seen from behind the scenes of what it takes to build epic launches.

The Epic Launch Class: Launch Your Product the Right Way

The Epic Launch Class is a 4-week telecourse made up of 12 core topics you need to run a successful launch. Formed from the extensive experience Charlie’s gained from helping engineer countless epic launches, working with hundreds of business owners to improve their business tactics, and conducting workshops for the best and brightest entrepreneurs out there, The Epic Launch Class will get you what you need now so your next launch will increase your profits, get you more customers, and help you grow strategically.

The Epic Launch Class has its first call tomorrow. If you’re ready to hustle and learn launch strategies that work, get to work.

Click here to join the class. 

P.S. I’ll be there, too. Can’t wait to work with you!

“I don’t see myself as beautiful, because I can see a lot of flaws. People have really odd opinions. They tell me I’m skinny, as if that’s supposed to make me happy.” – Angelina Jolie

Last night, I glanced at my new twitter followers – I try to say hi to everyone who looks legit the when they follow me – and I saw a clothing company that had an interesting look to them.

In their bio, they said they made clothes for “real women.”

Livid.

Excuse me? Real women? What does that even mean?

In the clothing world, it apparently means has a variety of meanings from plus-size to forgiving clothing to clothing for the curvy. (Don’t take my word for it. Google it.)

Body image is a real bitch of a topic. And of course when I say bitch, I mean it in the totally non-female bashing sort of way.

I struggled with anorexia through middle and high school, and if you’ve ever had body image issues, you know it never completely goes away. But, things can get better.

A few weeks after I had my son, I was about 15 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. The extra weight was driving me crazy, but I was also the only one who really noticed it and it wasn’t enough to cause me to worry about my health.

But, I wasn’t quite prepared for the onslaught that followed. My job is wonderful because I can work from anywhere, and I often work out of the lovely Italian café down the street from my home.

Sitting in the corner with a newborn attached to your chest makes you a point of conversation, and many people came up to see the new baby, smell that wonderful smell they come with, and make the typical small talk. And then came the hateful talk.

“Where did you keep him, your purse?”

“I wouldn’t have MY baby out in public this early.”

“Oh, you can’t possibly be producing enough milk for him being that small.”

Seriously?

Who fucking does that? Are we so insecure that we have to be bitchy to one another down to the last inconsequential pound?

As soon as you start talking this talk, you’re buying into a game you can’t win. Whether you’re the attacker or the receiver, this is a lose-lose pissing match. If you’re on the receiving end, you’re left feeling insecure or confused. And if you’re the attacker? At best, your insecurity is on display for the world to see and at worst, you’re hurting the cause for feminism and women’s rights everywhere.

Yeah, I fucking said it.

Weight is a touchy issue. I get it. I spent most of my young life starving myself because I thought being thin would help me fit in. (It didn’t.)

But implying women who are thin aren’t women is bullshit.

Can we shout “clothing companies playing on insecurity” together?

It’s easy to have a scapegoat in the form of a beautiful woman, isn’t it? Skinny bitch. Don’t trust a skinny cook.

“Oh, she’s not a real woman.”

THE HELL SHE ISN’T.

Even if a photo of a woman was played with in Photoshop, and the image isn’t an authentic representation of her, she is still a woman.

And honestly, let’s be real. This country is bursting at the seams when it comes to our weight, and it is a problem so prevalent, doctors are calling it an epidemic. Diabetes, heart attacks, and more are being diagnosed more frequently than ever. On the opposite end of things, eating disorders are running rampant, too. Being unhealthy doesn’t look good on any(body), whether you’re over or underweight. The idea is we need to strive for better health, not just a number.

Beyond the weight issue exists this idea of the mysterious real woman. So how do you classify “real women” versus those allegedly awful “fake women?”

Let’s talk about fake women. What do you picture when someone says “fake woman?”

Maybe someone whose had plastic surgery?

Frankly, if someone does having bulging botox lips, she probably needs more love from those around her anyway. What she doesn’t need is to be ostracized. She is no less a woman.

And those who identify as women? Absolutely real women.

I’ll put myself out here for this, too. I chopped my hair off so I’d look more boyish. Am I still a woman? I adore androgyny. I wear pants. Still a woman? 100 years ago, I wouldn’t have been. What does that tell us about how we view women today or how we will in another 100 years?

With the onset of my Rebel Mama project, I anticipate the hate and tearing down of my very womanhood. Part of what I’m arguing for is redefining motherhood and what a mother is. It’s a short sidestep to discussing what a woman really is.

But you know what?

We are all women. And we are all real.

—
Join the newsletter for more on rebelling, creating, and connecting.

Yes, you.

You’ve been holding back. You’ve been squandering your most important resources; your time, energy, and attention. You’ve let your mission fall to the wayside in favor of comfort.

You know better. You are privileged beyond belief, have immense opportunity you’ll never realize, and you’ve been too busy feeding yourself bullshit excuses to do the thing you were put on this planet to do.

-

A brief anecdote.

Snuggling up next to me, Evie whispered “Mommy?” to try and get me up.

Ugh. This was so not the morning for this.

Tristan is a light sleeper, so half of the time he sleeps in our room, and we end up in the living room. Like this morning, where my daughter found me sleeping on the floor in a ball.

Normally, I’m an early riser, so a 6:00am wakeup call isn’t so bad. This morning seemed especially trying, though.

Why the change? It may have to do with last night’s rededication to writing. Being a marketer and more to the point someone who has earned a living off of the written word for over a year now, its easy to let inconsequential shit get in the way of it.

Blog stats, reading other people’s work, checking email. The list goes on. In an effort to battle my time-wasting instincts, I decided to get up at 5:30 and starting writing by 6:00. Simply write. Nothing else. My partner even agreed it was good idea and volunteered to help with the babies in the early morning if they woke up during my golden 90 minutes.

I failed. I forgot to set my alarm. I felt guilty for wanting to get my partner up – he’s so not a morning person. Go me for being a wuss and not meeting my own obligations.

But, as I speak, it’s 6:54am, I’m still bra-less and in pajama pants, and I’ve managed to write for about 30 minutes with my daughter running around. That’s not the norm, so I’m giving myself at least a partial pat on the back. Because I have to start somewhere.

-

The moral of the story? You can work on your dream, even if there are distractions along the way. Because trust me, writing with a 3 year old running around behind you is a feat.

We looove our excuses, don’t we?

They are so safe, so comforting. Of course we can’t do great things when there are dishes in the sink. Of course we can’t create incredible art when there is work to do, distractions abounding, and children running around.

Stop telling yourself you can’t do X because of Y. It’s bullshit, and you know it. It’s the Myth of Obligation staring you in the face, making you forget how valuable your contribution to the world is. It’s the story that makes you feel small.

If those things really are going to get in your way, then the answer is simple. Quit.

If the excuses are that nice to have around, succumb to them. The status quo is what it is because it’s comfortable and doesn’t expect anything more of you than your 9-5, your attention to pop culture and trends, and a willingness to obey.

The exit is to the left.

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You’re still here? Then get to your great work. If you want it that bad, you’ll find the time. You’ll make the sacrifice.

If you fail, try again tomorrow.

And you’ll make it. Because what else can you do?

- This message was brought to you by Dusti’s ragged edge giving her a solid kick in the ass for being a fucking wuss lately. -